Who knew one word could be so loaded with meaning? In every other region of the United States when someone says “bless your heart,” or as I recently heard at work, just plain ‘ol “bless,” they’re most likely being sincere. In the South, however? Nope. Nope. Nope. To quote one of my favorite Ru Paul loving friends: Bitch be throwing shade.
Now, obviously the art of “throwing shade” has been around for a while now (if you trust Urban Dictionary, it apparently became popular last year), but let me explain why it’s different in the South: Those Southern ladies, they’re just so classy. They would never be downright bitchy. Since true ladies believe in being gracious and polite at all times, “bless your heart” is the perfect way to be nasty without sounding like it.
And it has SO many different meanings. Let’s practice a few:
- The perfect thing to say about that girl who posts too many selfies: “Bless her heart.”
- What you say when someone is wearing a distasteful outfit: “Bless her heart.”
- When someone says something like "Wait, you can _______?": "Bless your heart."
- If anyone says, "Isn't she just the ______?" [Insert cutest/sweetest/smartest, etc.]: "Aww, bless her heart."
- When someone makes a stupid comment that is obviously false but they believe it to be true: “Bless your heart.”
- When absolutely anyone says anything rude to you in any situation at any time: “Bless”
So the next time you feel the urge to sling a nasty insult, don’t. Stop; take a deep breath; channel your inner Southern lady and implement the "bless your heart" approach. I promise it feels so much better than just being outright bitchy.
Have more "Bless Your Heart" uses I didn't mention? Leave 'em in the comments!