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How to Throw Shade Like a Southern Lady

7/30/2014

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“Bless.”

Who knew one word could be so loaded with meaning? In every other region of the United States when someone says “bless your heart,” or as I recently heard at work, just plain ‘ol “bless,” they’re most likely being sincere. In the South, however? Nope. Nope. Nope. To quote one of my favorite Ru Paul loving friends: Bitch be throwing shade.

Now, obviously the art of “throwing shade” has been around for a while now (if you trust Urban Dictionary, it apparently became popular last year), but let me explain why it’s different in the South:
 Those Southern ladies, they’re just so classy. They would never be downright bitchy. Since true ladies believe in being gracious and polite at all times, “bless your heart” is the perfect way to be nasty without sounding like it. 

And it has SO many different meanings. Let’s practice a few:

  • The perfect thing to say about that girl who posts too many selfies: “Bless her heart.” 
          Read: She obviously wants attention and I feel sorry for her.

  • What you say when someone is wearing a distasteful outfit: “Bless her heart.”
          Read: Poor thing, she has some terrible taste. 


  • When someone says something like "Wait, you can _______?": "Bless your heart."
         Read: You're an idiot. 

  • If anyone says, "Isn't she just the ______?" [Insert cutest/sweetest/smartest, etc.]: "Aww, bless her heart." 
           Read: No, she's not.

  • When someone makes a stupid comment that is obviously false but they believe it to be true: “Bless your heart.”
          Read: Bitch, please.

  • When absolutely anyone says anything rude to you in any situation at any time: “Bless” 
           Read: Fuck off.

So the next time you feel the urge to sling a nasty insult, don’t. Stop; take a deep breath; channel your inner Southern lady and implement the "bless your heart" approach. I promise it feels so much better than just being outright bitchy. 


Have more "Bless Your Heart" uses I didn't mention? Leave 'em in the comments!

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Paula Deen is Back Y'all!

7/17/2014

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I am so lucky to get to do what I do every day. As a magazine editor, I get to do a lot of cool stuff most people only dream of  — like meeting Paula Deen. The media company I work for owns her Cooking with Paula Deen magazine, and I helped produce one of our biggest videos to date: an intimate one-on-one interview with Paula and our publisher, Phyllis Hoffman DePiano.

Now I know the lady is controversial (I’m guilty of the butter and oil jokes, too), but if she isn’t the epitome of a Southern gal, then I don’t know what is. She was cordial, funny, uncensored and downright humble. Take a peek at part one of our interview here, and make sure to tune into part two next week.

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The Southern Recipe Box: Papa's Cornbread

7/1/2014

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This year, I was lucky enough to receive my grandfather’s cast-iron skillet as a housewarming gift for my digs down South. Now, this isn't the same cast-iron skillet I used to make cornbread with him as a kid (that would be the one pictured above), but it's still spread lots of love and made many memories in my new place. 

It's important to note that my family makes savory cornbread. You'll find none of that sweet "cornbread" shit here. We're proud users of Alabama King Corn Meal and not that Jiffy muffin mix nonsense. Needless to say, I have passionate opinions about cornbread ingredients (and, well, cornbread in general).

To this day, my grandfather still loves to tell people how I’d sneak into the kitchen while the skillet was still on the cooling rack and tear off just the crispy edges. Inch by inch, bite by bite, I’d eventually work my way around the entire crust like a little mouse. I, of course, always got caught, but now that the skillet is mine I can enjoy every bit of crust (and fluffy middle) without feeling guilty.

After years of living hours away, my grandparents are just a quick one hour drive to Montgomery. I always swear I'll go often, but as can be expected, life usually gets in the way. I finally got the chance to spend the weekend with them, and we of course had to make cornbread. My grandmother is going to kill me for posting this photo, but it was so dang nice to be in the kitchen with her again.

Make sure to get your cast-iron skillet screaming hot before you add the cornbread mixture — 
it makes the crust extra-crispy!
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Cornbread
Preheat oven to 450° - while preheating, place 9-inch cast-iron skillet in oven with 2 TBS vegetable oil. Beat 2 eggs in mixing bowl. Add 1 cup water and 1 cup buttermilk. Mix together 2 cups Alabama King Corn Meal, 1 cup flour, 1/2 teaspoon salt, 2 teaspoons baking powder. Stir into egg/milk mixture and blend well. Pour batter into hot pan and bake 20-25 minutes until golden brown (can brown top with broiler if sides are are brown enough).
1 Comment
    Victoria Margaux💋

    I'm a digital + social maven for Cinnabon and Moe's Southwest Grill.
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